Objectives-Make Me a Better Mom. Make Me a Better Wife, Make Me a Better Person
Injuries sustained-none, but I experienced some unexpected and unnecessary guilt...
Difficulty level-It's pretty difficult and still a work in progress.
How Maya “Helped”-She loves her night with Daddy:)
So I am sure you have now given up on me as I have not written or updated on her in weeks. It's sad. I love writing and this is an accurate representation of the priority I give it in my life...as a matter of fact, it seems to be a pretty good metaphor for the priority I give ME in my life...last.
Why is it a mother is always last to eat, last to sleep, and last to rest? We are stretched so thin there is literally not enough of us to go around. I sometimes feel like I am simply a series of roles and functions, not really a person at all. Breakfast maker, clothes washer, dish doer, boo boo kisser, floor cleaning, puppy scolder...the list goes on and on. But when am I "Amy Jo" ? Even when I do things for myself-like take a bath or go for a run, the entire time I am feeling guilty for the things I SHOULD be accomplishing for someone else. I know that once you have children, they should come first, and mine certainly do. But it seems that there should be room, somewhere in my day, for me to breathe.
I have been working for a while on a solution to this problem...while I haven't solved it I HAVE taken some steps. First of all, I am getting up crazy early in the morning. I have been getting up between 5 and 6, before the kiddos and taking a few minutes to just BE. This helps my mood immensely, the quiet is almost a religious experience when you have two little ones around most of the time:) My mother always did this and I am beginning to see why it was worth getting less sleep. Secondly, I started taking a class:) A friend and I signed up at a local Joann's for cake decorating classes. This gives me an APPOINTMENT with myself. This is important for a few reasons. ONE-it is on the calendar and set in stone, I can not miss it if I feel too busy or guilty to leave the kiddos. TWO-my hubby knows about it a head of time so I don't have to feel guilty asking him to watch the kids-which is such a crazy concept anyway. Why is it babysitting when he watches the kids yet it's my job??? (that's a whole other post ). THREE- It gets me out of the house which keep the kids from seeking me out and demanding my attention (which is what happens if I try to do things at home).
It has been nice to reclaim my "Self" and to create a few moments to be "Amy Jo". Honestly, I kind of missed her. But with all the craziness of my life and the work that never ends, I wouldn't trade it for the world...I am so blessed to have a home, a family, even this crazy never- stops-destroying-things-puppy we call Lucy. But sometimes, a few hours away makes it easier to see, I am truly living the dream.