Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Thoughts on Number Three

So, My husband and I are expecting our third child in April. We are thrilled and excited. I always feel like being pregnant is such a beautiful gift and waiting to meet the new family member is much like the anticipation of Christmas as a child.

While I admit that my family is growing rapidly, I will have a three year old and a nearly two year old when number three gets here, I have been shocked, appalled, and down-right hurt by the some of the comments I have gotten regarding this pregnancy.

Of course my family and friends have been supportive and wonderful but some of my acquaintances have been completely ridiculous.

Some exact quotes from people that I shared the news with include:

"Wow, maybe you should learn to keep your legs closed"

"are you trying to break some kind of record"

" you know what causes this, right?"

"like you aren't having enough problems with the kids you already have?"

And maybe the most hurtful of all, a simple eye roll just to let me know how stupid I am.

Since I am kind of a wimp when it comes to confrontation, here is my response to them.

This baby was not an accident, no baby is. This baby is a beautiful hoped for, dreamed about, answer to prayer. I am not breaking any records, as a matter of fact three children is not really a ridiculous amount,I would welcome more. My mom had seven children and I was the last, so I am glad she was not as selfish or shallow as you people all seem to be or I wouldn't even be here.

Yes I have problems with my kids. Everyone does. Maybe the difference is that I am willing to share them and my failures with other people.

And lastly, to the eye rollers, although I don't need to explain myself to you, I will.

There are many reasons we should not have another baby. Your eye rolls were probably thinking about them. Maybe you were reminding me of the fact that we are outgrowing our house, or that we don't make a lot of money, or maybe it's the fact that we will not be able to have "our own" lives.

Maybe you were alluding to the fact that our kids will not get new cars for their 16th birthdays, or that they will need loans for college, maybe you were looking at us and thinking that the last thing we need is more to do, less sleep, and more responsibility.

Maybe all of these things are true, maybe. But to me, they just don't matter.

No all of these reasons, excuses, are wasted on me. You see no number of cons could ever add up to enough to erase the one pro on my list.

Two tiny hands with fingernails like tiny polka dots, eyes staring into mine trusting, loving, and waiting for life to begin. The smallest cry in the middle of the night for our late night feeding, the first smile, the first word....

One tiny reason and it blows all yours away, one tiny heart beating away and already capturing my own.


  1. Like you said Amy, children are a gift-an answered prayer, and the most amazing thing that life allows us to take pleasure in.
    The people who have the nerve to roll their eyes at you and make snarky comments can give me a call...we've been trying for 2 years, with fertility treatments and lots of prayers and NOTHING. I'd love a chance to let them in on a little secret...that you are an amazing mom and fantastic person. If God is lending you another one of His children to take care of until it's His turn, then that shows tremendous trust! The nay-sayers and the inconsiderate people you come in contact with can simply suck it...they have no idea!!


  2. Tosha-thanks! I just can't believe how rude people can be sometimes. I get so frustrated that people think they can know our lives better than WE do, or more importantly more than GOD does..I will be praying for you on your journey, I know it is a difficult one and I can imagine it would be very frustrating and painful too. All things are possible with God:) HUGS!!